Comparison is the thief of joy. — Theodore Roosevelt.
I'm sure that many of us have heard this expression in conversation.
And truthfully, it’s pretty accurate. There are not many circumstances in which a comparison is joyful.
Aaah, but Josh, what if I am the stronger contender?
Sure, if you perceive it that way, you may feel a sense of triumph. However comparisons are typically more indicative than definitive. And when they turn out to be defined, we seem to care less.
For instance, comparing our height to another person. It’s not something easily changed, so we tolerate it. Yet, if you were to compare our bodyweight, or our bicep curl capacities, you would find there is a lot of room for development. I could weigh less then you or I could lift more than you.
To what end though are we making these comparisons?
It’s an innate human trait. To fit in, to be valuable, to identify our worth. We compare attributes and characteristics that we consider to be valuable, such as a strength or speed. From some perspectives, the stronger and faster individuals are more desirable, and we aim to have the same fictitious impact as them.
We imagine what they’re capable of with such abilities. How much better their lives are. But the truth is that we don't know anything.
Simply put: comparisons are child's play—and not the good kind. Unsurprisingly, out-of-context comparisons result in out-of-context, narrow-minded decisions.
Consider a 5k run. You’ll spend the whole race gauging your progress and performance relative to that of the other runners. You may run ahead of someone and be in the lead, but when you fatigue, they may catch up and pass you. There is a perpetual flip between being ahead and being behind.
In this YouTube Short, Simon Sinek illustrates this idea perfectly:
If you don’t have less than a minute to watch, the point is:
It’s not permanent.
When you’re behind, it’s not permanent. When you’re ahead, it’s not permanent.
Comparisons are vital to evaluating ourselves and people around us. Nevertheless, these contrasts are not permanent. The point here is that this preserves our modesty. We are aware that we can fall behind, and recover when possible.
For me, the only apt comparison is with myself. Where am I headed? Is my path moving in the right direction? What has my progression been like? How do I compare to last time?
Too many inferences might be formed when comparing yourself to another person. This practise has made me more conscious of my behaviours and how they’re constructing the larger picture.
There will always be a flow. Some days you will be ahead, others you will be behind. This is just the way things work. Accepting this relieves the stress of attempting to force an objective conclusion from a subjective comparison.
It’s just aiming for progress in a better direction, or in other words: attaining sustainability. That requires time. It's inevitable that you'll have rough spots in your daily existence; but the broader view will always reveal that it is merely a speck on what otherwise is an upward trend.
Progress always trumps perfection.
Stay safe, and pass-it-on.
Comparison is neither permanent nor objective--this is great insight that I'm making a note of. Thank you!