Simon Sinek's short video sparked an exciting thought. If you're unfamiliar with Simon, he is an author and inspirational speaker that encourages individuals to discover their why. That topic is for another letter.
He was answering this question:
What do you think are the right questions leaders should be asking in these uncertain times?
His response was simple:
All times are filled with an immense uncertainty. There’s never been a time in history that ever had certainty. Ever.
If you have a few minutes to spare, the video is worth watching.
Isn't that a great way to put things into perspective? It's reassuring to remember that, while we're all uncertain right now, we are always uncertain. Wouldn't everything be so much easier and more manageable if you knew the future was certain?
We've all had that feeling when you know something is going to go a certain way. Then, by chance, something unexpected occurs, and the outcomes aren't what you expected.
Simon poses the question to be instead:
How does one enjoy uncertain times?
And to build on that – how can we find enjoyment today? Right now?
There's a wonderful similarity here between Simon's philosophy and that of the Stoics.
A quote from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations:
You only live in the present, this fleeting moment. The rest of your life is already gone or not yet revealed.
And another from Seneca’s Letters From A Stoic:
We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow.
Today, we enjoy predicting what will happen, whether good or bad. We're sometimes correct, but most of the time, we're not.
We are uncertain.
And we toil away in our minds, dreaming up situations that will never come true. We have no control over what will happen; we only control how we react to it.
You control one thing: your judgements - the way we think about what happens to us.
How we act is determined by our judgments. They control our desires and impulses, as the Stoic Epictetus puts it.
All I would do at this point is paraphrase, so here’s an excerpt from the book Lessons In Stoicism, John Sellars:
Can you stop your loved ones from dying? Do you ever decide to be in an accident? Can you guarantee your own worldly success? You may be able to influence these things in your life, but can you guarantee that they will ever turn out in your favour?
Marcus Aurelius often tried to remind himself by pausing and thinking of the physical nature of seemingly desirable things before passing judgement on them: a fine meal is merely the dead body of a pig or fish. Equally, the expensive gadget or executive car is just a lump of metal and plastic. These things do not have inherent value in themselves, only the value we attribute to them with our judgements.
Do not make happiness dependent on things you cannot control. Otherwise your happiness will be vulnerable to forces outside of your control. Even if you think these things are good, you still have no control over them. Whether this is a romantic relationship, a specific career ambition, material possessions or a certain physical appearance, if your sense of well-being depends on one of these sorts of things, you have effectively handed over your happiness to the whims of something or someone else. This is not to say ignore the things which you cannot control, just a matter of developing the right attitude towards them.
In Epictetus' Handbook, Epictetus proposes thinking of your life as if you were an actor in a play. You haven't chosen your role, you don't get to decide what happens, and you have no control over how long it will last. Rather than fight against all these thing which are out of your control, your task is to play the role you find yourself in as best you can.
Now this being said, we all have multiple roles and we can certainly change some things about them. No one is suggesting it is compulsory to remain in a miserable job or unhappy relationship.
But there are things tied closely to our identity than we cannot change. None of us have chosen our nationality, gender, age, skin colour or sexual orientation, yet they all have an impact on the shape of our lives.
Remember: Although we have control over our actions, we don't have control over their outcomes. Even an expert archer will sometimes miss the target because the wind might blow his arrow off course.
I couldn't have said it any more eloquently.
I’ll leave you with this:
It is naive to think you’ll get the opportunity to see the sun rise tomorrow.
I searched for the source of this or who said it, but to no avail. If you know who did, please let me know so I can credit them appropriately.
From our view, we all know that the sun will rise and the sun will set every day.
But can you guarantee it’ll rise tomorrow? Are you certain?
Stay safe, and pass-it-on